Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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