farters have to be the big spoon...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
