sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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