so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I look better un-naked...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
