I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
