then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize