Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
