Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
