Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
