Me. At least after what I've been through.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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