he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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