so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
