Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize