is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize