If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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