pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
