The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
