fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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