he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
