His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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