Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
