Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
What drink are we having for lunch?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
