Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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