So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
