Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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