if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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