Betty ford says i'm here all night
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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