True but thats because hes a fetus.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
