In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
