ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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