after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Randomize