I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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