On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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