You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
