i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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