So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
