The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
