If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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