I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
