i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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