we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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