The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize