hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
