Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
