I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize