and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I didn't notice because vodka
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
