come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
