Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
