Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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