therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
