I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
