I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
