dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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