He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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