sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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