No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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