when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
