Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
