WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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