Me. At least after what I've been through.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
