plz talk dirty to me
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
