Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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