My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
